Today, I went rollerblading for the first time in years. I impulsively bought a pair on Amazon for 80 bucks, thinking that it would be a fun way to get active and lose weight. I use to be really good at it. When I was younger, we had somehow stumbled onto this pair of blades that were absolutely perfect. The grip was divine and the roll was so smooth. I remember how devastated I was when I outgrew them. I use to be fearless on wheels, but I didn’t feel that way today; it was most disheartening.
I know I have a few things I need to conquer as far as my own social anxiety goes. I hate even admitting that I have social anxiety; I typically put on a good show in front of people. When I showed up to the Rose Bowl today, I was already feeling pretty anxious about the high-school lacrosse players huddled in the middle of the running circle. I’m much older now, and I shouldn’t care too much what people think, but the thought of falling down in front of all those kids is simply enough to make anyone nervous. Nevertheless, I strapped my blades on and hoped for the best.
From the get go, it was clear this was a mistake. Why did I think I could pick up where fifteen year old Dina left off? I shuffled off to a corner after (barely) skating ten feet and immediately tore my skates off, bolting for the car. I had set my expectations so high, like I would be a natural all over again. However, this was a very necessary learning experience.
All my life, I tend to avoid things that take work. Finding a job, losing weight, etc. I don’t think I’m scared of hard work, but what I feel most is failure. Once I get into something, I master it, but only if I’m pretty good at it right away. For some reason, I fear not being the best at something, and if I don’t show that potential immediately, I lose all interest.
So I personally want to make this seemingly small goal of being able to rollerblade a priority in 2019. I just want it to serve me in a sense that I out my mind to it and i succeeded at something that was good for me mentally and physically.
When I got home, I’m going to attempt to skate around the kitchen just to get my bearings. Tomorrow I will head to the Rose Bowl early and attempt another go at it; this time I’ll remember my headphones. I will also not be deterred by the imperfection of my goals.
What I mean by that is, I will always get back on the horse. I told myself at the beginning of 2019, I would write everyday. Well, today is the 7th and I can’t say I’be honored that goal one bit. But I will try to do my best everyday. I don’t want to say I’ve already fucked up the year because of my inability to have a strong beginning. What I do today, matters what happens tomorrow. Consistency will matter down the line.
Now, to create some goals for the year. Copy them into your phone, look at them everyday, and know the only thing that seperates you from being an average person is just sticking to the things you say you’re going to do. I have to be extraordinary, because the thought of being average is maddening, and I crave so much more for my life.
Consume only natural sugar
Consume fewer carbs
Get excited about nutritional food
Wake up early
Drink more water
Drink low-calorie alcoholic drinks (if you drink at all)
Exercise at least four times a week
Write 1-2 sports articles
Create 1-2 plots for easy-to-film shorts
Minimize screen time for optimal productivity
Meal prep – cut cost of eating out and cut calories
Get better at rollerblading
Complete one book
Film one short
Submit 1 – 2 completed articles
Maintain a healthy life style
Make a career change
Make 2019 your fucking year